I can’t decide whether the better metaphor for my current situation is that the tide has taken me back out to sea, or that it has washed me up on shore again. A giant leap, or a heavy splash. In any case, some changes have occurred, the biggest of which was leaving my job in April. So now we are in June, and my last post was in January, and I suppose I have some explaining to do.
I left Paris at the end of February on a business trip that I was not well-prepared for. Without placing too much blame, I’d rather just say that my work style was incompatible with that of my boss and I felt lost in projects I was supposed to own. Too much emotion has already been wasted on that job for me to keep exerting the energy. It was also not a job I saw myself in for the long haul, once I’d had a taste of it.
And so in April I resigned, spent a couple weeks on K’s couch in the Upper East Side, wandering out to drink coffee and talk on the phone to my mom while meandering through Central Park. Not a bad interlude, but short-lived. I was running out of money and had to get out of the city before it was all gone.
In mid-April I made the bus trip from New York to Boston, then Boston to Maine, where I settled into my old bedroom at my parents’ house. Strange to be sure, and the longest I’ve been home in years. I made the last-minute decision to apply to graduate school to continue my study of French and Italian for this year. By last-minute, I should clarify that attending this particular school has been a lifelong dream, and since last summer it’s been high on my list of What’s Next, but leaving my job actually made it a possibility for THIS summer, and Admission was on a rolling basis. I asked a few really lovely people if they would refer me, they agreed, paperwork was completed, and I awaited the decision (especially the financial aid bit).
Clé came to visit for three weeks in May, and we did the New York, Boston, Maine circuit together, as it was his first time in the States. He got to meet so many of my great friends, and we had an amazing time in each place we visited. We were hosted by some of the most wonderful people I know, who made our trip special.
After Clé left, I made an appointment to see someone about my headaches, since I’d seemingly been waking up with the same one every day for about two months. While I suffer from Migraine, the doctor I saw said she thought that what I was experiencing might be a Tension Headache or a Chronic Daily Headache instead. I was put on a low-dose antidepressant to be taken every night before bed. Definitely hesitant to be put on something that sounded so serious, I was told that this is a common practice for migraine sufferers, and that I should feel no side effects at all.
Except for the sleepiness. Bedtime never tasted so sweet. I curl up, I doze off happily, I sleepwalk to the bathroom around 4am (small bladder), I have no trouble going back to sleep. Downside being that I have a terrible time waking up in the morning. At my parents’ house, I generally get up with them, between 6:30 and 7:30. This past week and a half, I have done all I can to pull myself upright by 9. The good news is that when I’m up I feel good, no headaches since the start of the pill, I hardly ever nap anymore. It’s just the part where I actually open my eyes and peel the sheets back that is difficult.
And then I was accepted to Grad School. I’m still waiting on my financial aid package, to see if it’s really feasible, but if it is, the program starts next week. I’m in this strange purgatory. A less-than-favorable grant means a larger-than-desired loan. It’s something I’ll have to weigh when I get the news (fingers crossed for today).
So the rundown of my future life (if the program works out) is this summer studying Italian in this amazing immersion program, trying to find some translation work (possibly through connections at school?) so I can get back to Paris/Venice as soon as possible, spend the year supporting myself with translation work, traveling, seeing my boo, Part II of the Italian School next summer June-August, followed by the academic year ’12-’13 in Paris learning French and being with Clé.
Fingers crossed for all of that, with a generous topping of happiness.
